By the time I finished reading, I realized that my non-phone hand was clutching tightly to my forehead, forcefully scrunching my forehead skin together.
But instead of distancing myself from the horror, I soaked in it. I read it again and again, fascinated by how something could be so aggressively unappealing. It comes down to a pretty simple rule:. A Facebook status is annoying if it primarily serves the author and does nothing positive for anyone reading it.
To be not annoying, a Facebook status typically has to be one of two things:.
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You know why these are not annoying? Ideally, interesting statuses would be fascinating and original or a link to something that is , and funny ones would be hilarious. The author wants to affect the way people think of her. The author wants to make people jealous of him or his life.
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The author is feeling lonely and wants Facebook to make it better. This is the least heinous of the five—but seeing a lonely person acting lonely on Facebook makes me and everyone else sad. Facebook is infested with these five motivations—other than a few really saintly people, most people I know, myself certainly included, are guilty of at least some of this nonsense here and there.
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Bragging is such a staple of unfortunate Facebook behavior, it needs to be broken into three subsections:. Somewhere in the middle would be you calculatingly crafting your words as part of an unendearing and transparent campaign to make people see you in a certain way. On the other hand, they have the same exact core motivations as the blatant braggers and looking at these examples actually makes the first group seem almost lovable in comparison.
The image-crafting and jealousy-inducing motives here are transparent. But really? The fun part of these is watching the inevitable comments and then watching how the author responds to them, if at all. This process slots the author into one of four sub-categories:. What are you looking for here? The nation where the metric system was developed.
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First of all, we will look for a few extra hints for this entry: Document's hard copy. Add, edit, delete clues, and customize this crossword. If Green Bay controls the line of scrimmage and the clock, the Ravens might be in catch-up mode much of the night.
This might be a run-fest on both sides, but Rodgers has a better chance to find his passing playmakers than Flacco does when the time comes. The Ravens will give a strong fight, but will fall short. Packers 21, Ravens At long last, welcome back to the Unassisted Triple Play. You may have noticed my absence over the past several weeks. That said, despite the fact that many fans and experts anticipated a Ravens blowout with Dennis Dixon in there, the Ravens needed a game like last night. They needed a do-or-die situation against the team they simply seemed incapable of getting over the hump against.
And they did it. Now we know that Joe Flacco can win a game in the last five minutes if he has to. For all the greatness of his first 29 NFL games, he had yet to do that. The chances of the Ravens going into Pittsburgh and blowing the doors off the place are slim, but it is a strong bet that they will be in the game. If the Ravens find themselves down late in the game, they can look back at last night and know that they have a quarterback and a running back capable of moving the ball and getting them what they need to extend drives and seasons.
Now it is, and that will prove invaluable down the stretch for a team desperate to win and move on. In the meantime, Dennis is no Juan. And thank God we got the better half of the dynamic surveying duo. But to pair the Cowboys with the Raiders, especially when the laughingstock that is the Detroit Lions had to be featured somewhere, was inexcusable. The league has two teams locked into Thanksgiving every year. No one in their right mind could have counted on the Lions for a decent showing, even in a storied rivalry game.
So they look at who might be good coming into the season. So naturally, in the search for a marquee matchup, the NFL picked…….. If the game on the field featured Jerry vs. Al in a tete-a-tete, then I could see it as fantastic holiday viewing. But that football game was more of a snorer than the tryptophan.
Normally I use this space for something irreverent and funny. Not today. Today I have something very serious to talk about with all of you.